Defining Life on Your Own Terms (Even When They Tell You to Quit)

I once made a painting for a man I loved.

It was abstract, textured, messy, alive — the way my art has always wanted to be. I handed it over, heart wide open, and he looked at it, shrugged, and told me it was shit. That it didn’t even look like what it was “supposed to.” He said my style wasn’t talent, and that maybe I should give up.

And here’s the kicker: I still married him.

Oof.

The Lesson I Didn’t Want to Learn

When you love someone, you want them to see you. To validate the parts of you that feel fragile. But instead of protecting my spark, I handed it over to someone who couldn’t hold it. And I let his words echo in my head far longer than they deserved to live there.

Every brushstroke became a battle between what I wanted to create and what I thought would finally make me “good enough” for someone else’s approval. Spoiler: that approval never came.

The Turning Point

When that relationship ended, I opened my art supply store. And on one of those first days of freedom, I dug out that old painting. The one he told me was worthless.

I painted over it.

What emerged was something I called The Portal to Eternal Love. It wasn’t about him anymore. It was about me — choosing to walk through the portal of self-acceptance, no longer waiting for permission to be who I already was.

It still took me three years of painting to fully believe I was an artist. Three years of peeling away those voices that told me talent only counted if it fit in their box. The extremely critical voice that had carved its way into my mind over the more than a decade relationship.

Redefining Myself

My confidence shifted the day I left. But the day I totally stopped asking “Will they approve?” and started creating from a place of pure me, everything shifted. I didn’t have to force it. I just loudly began identifying as an artist, without hesitation or apology.

And you know what happened?

People started to notice. Fans appeared. Art sold. My life changed almost overnight.

Not because I suddenly got “better.” But because I stopped handing the brush to other people and finally painted the life I wanted.

The Takeaway

People will always have opinions. Some will tell you you’re not talented. Some will say your dreams don’t make sense. Some will even laugh at the way you live your life.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t need them to approve.

You don’t need them to understand.

You don’t need them to like it.

You only need to decide: This is who I am. This is how I create. This is how I live.

The moment you stop living to satisfy someone else’s idea of you is the moment you step through your own portal to eternal love — the kind that comes from within.

✨ So here’s my reminder to you (and to the version of me who needed to hear it years ago): You don’t have to look like what it’s “supposed to.” You just have to look like you.